I’m in the best relationship of my life. It took me 31 years to get here, but I feel like I have just discovered the gold at the bottom of the rainbow. I just want to share it with everyone.
It wasn’t always this extraordinary, I spent over 20 years of my life pushing uphill trying to force my way into making my dreams a reality. I would repeat patters, addictions and fearful illusions which would keep me in a numb static state.
But a couple months ago, something happened. I woke up from my sleepy haze and looked at my life, and realized none of my patterns were serving me. It was time for me to break up with my inner critic so I could step into the person I really wanted to be.
If you are like I was, then your little nasty voice could be running the show. It’s that little voice that says, you are not pretty enough, good enough, smart enough, rich enough, young enough…WELL ENOUGH. That little voice can rob us of our dreams. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can be in the best relationship of your life and fall madly, passionately in love with you. Here is how.
Choose Me Before We
If something doesn’t feel right for you – in your heart, you must ask yourself why are you staying? Weather it is a job, a relationship or a pattern, look at where you are putting others first. This is an indicator that the inner critic is running the show. Switch the habit by dropping to your heart and let that be your guide. For example, I recently broke up with a man I lived with. It was a serious relationship but for me something always felt off. I recognized that my pattern off picking men that were “wrong for me” was no longer serving me. So I broke up with him and explained that “I love you, but I love me more.”
Don’t Try To Change Anything or Anyone
Wayne Dyer said, “You can not be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with…” When you love yourself fully you can learn to not let other peoples actions or habits effect you.
Our ego has a nasty way of flaring up when other people do things we don’t like. Sometimes the inner critic will scream at us, that we aren’t lovable or worthy in the situation, so we will lash out by complaining, picking or manipulating others.
If you find yourself picking on your partner and hoping they will change, ask yourself why do you need them to change for you to be happy? Many times this situation is a mirror to our own insecurities. Rather then focusing on changing them, look at yourself because true peace and love is an inside job.
Recognize the Story
Our little nasty voice is a clever imaginative storyteller. If you aren’t not careful it could manifest sticky situations. Aggressive behavior, addictions, complaints, yelling, avoiding are all examples of a story we tell ourselves about a situations.
Most of the time the story is just that a fake reality. But we believe it so intently that it becomes true. Stories such as “My boss doesn’t like me,” He is going to break up with me because I gained weight,” “I don’t deserve this raise” “My parents don’t appreciate me,” the list of stories goes on.
The only real story is in your heart. The reality of any situation is love, when we stray from that is when we feel fear, anger, and panic. Allow yourself to recognize the insecurities that pop up and create stories. Because disarming these “stories” will help you fall in love with your life.
You can be born again, no more stories, no more drama. Only LOVE.
Thanks for sharing your perspective; your article speaks to me and what jumps out is identifying that nasty voice inside that use to cleverly weave stories into my own reality. Hi-5 to no more negative drama, lead the way!
Really needed to read this today! Lashed out at a loved one over my “need” for them to change, when in reality, they have always been this way. We have to love ourselves before we expect anyone else to.
Thanks for sharing Robin. I relate and nice work to see the big picture. XO