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I recently had a student who just graduated from college ask me for help, and her first words were, “I’ve finally gathered up my courage to reach out to you for some advice…” Her message hit home for me because so many of us, me included, have a difficult time asking for help.
Asking for help is the most critical part of getting unstuck. The interesting thing is that, when we do ask for help, we often get what we want much faster.
For instance, the student who reached out to me was looking for a job. I emailed my friend who is a Creative Director in an advertising agency
, and he plans to set up an interview with her. If she had never reached out to me, I would have never known to connect her with my friend in the industry.
In doing research for my next book Adventures for Your Soul, I studied human behavior and found that there are common factors that play into why we don’t reach out for help. The question that circles my mind wasn’t so much about why we don’t reach out to others, as much as why we are more comfortable being stuck, afraid and lonely. If you have a difficult time reaching out to others for support, consider these factors. Here are steps to help you get unstuck.
Define Your Desire
Before you can ask for help you have to be clear about what you want. Most of us spend so much time worrying about what we don’t want, that we don’t give attention to what we really desire. Focus on your desired outcome, and spend your time on the way you want to feel. Get clear about what you want in order to ask for the right kind of help.
Ask For Help
Nothing can move forward until we ask for help. Whether you ask the universe, your teacher, mentor, family, friends, God, or your angel guides for help, asking is the part most people miss. People can’t help you unless they know you need help. Recently I asked the universe for some clarity and help around a business choice. By asking for what I needed I was able to receive guidance and get support. My answer came to me, and I was able to get unstuck much faster.
Allow Yourself to Receive
After asking for help, be open to receiving the support you truly need. When you ask the universe for help, or your friends or family, make sure you release expectations on the form of support. We often get answers from the universe that we don’t expect, but rest assured, our prayers will be answered. Support will always come to us, but we have to be open and willing to receive. Many of us resist the help without even realizing. If you are resisting help, open yourself up to receive guidance and support by trusting there are many ways to reach your desired outcome.
I would love to hear what action step you plan to take as result of reading this article. Where can you ask for help? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.
Hi, dear Shannon!
Thank you for your new message. It is helpful, because I am sure that asking for help is important for people in order to not get stuck in their problems and thoughts. I ask usually my family for support me and their advise or just to listen my problem. You can find the way to settle different issues just to tell your thoughts and then, bingo! something becomes more clear to you. Also, It is good to ask people who are not your close relatives and trust your sincere feelings to them. We concentrate to our problems very elaborate and people who are around us have clear thoughts, bright mind and different opinions to give useful hints.
Yours faithfully, Borys
Thanks for the insight, it was very timely for my situation and so obvious but easy to forget when you are feeling stuck. Defining what I desire is a liberating thought!
My daughter gave me a link to your blog. Very nice. Great simple solution. I also think that sometimes people feel stuck or confused when they actually know what to do, yet on some level don’t want to do it. Then the asking for help would apply to getting rid of the blocks.