Do you spend most of the time worrying about the unknown future? Maybe you know what you want but you aren’t sure if it will happen for you, or when it will happen?
Naturally your mind will immediately go to worry. You might think:
- How can it happen when I currently feel trapped?
- When will be the right time?
- What if I don’t have enough money?
- What if it doesn’t work out?
Thoughts like this keep us feeling stuck. We focus on our future and we think getting what we want will make us happier, but we worry about the unknown aspects of getting what we want, in part because we currently aren’t as happy as we think that future version of us will be.
I know this all to well.
Several years ago, I had to break up with my own fears surrounding making a choice that was unclear, I was in a job I hated. I was a corporate-climber by day, and a depression, fear-ridden, and anxious girl by night. I was so scared to leave my big cushy job in advertising because I worried that whatever step I took would somehow lead me off course in my life.
If you don’t know what you want, the “worry” about the future can be even more painful because it forces us to feel how uncomfortable we are in the current situation that doesn’t work.
Most of us want to be happier, healthier and living a life we are proud of but fear gets in the way. Here’s a little secret: In reality, none of your fears are grounded in truth. They are all ego projections and fear-based thoughts. When we get honest with ourselves and look a little deeper, we can transform the fear and turn it into clarity and focus. Worry is just an ugly cousin of fear.
For me, I realized that I was terrified of leaving corporate because I had no idea what I was going to do for a living. I hated what I was doing, but I had worked so hard for it, and yet I had no clue what I could do instead that would bring me joy. But as long as I kept worrying about my future, it meant I was not taking action to prevent that worry.
When I met Mastin Kipp founder of The Daily Love he told me:
“If there is an outcome you are afraid of and you do not take action, you will produce the outcome you are most afraid of.” —Oh snap this is good TWEET ME!
I was afraid of being unhappy and stuck and my mind was consumed with worry. So the only way to combat this worry was to take action.
If you worry about how your future will pan out these tricks can help immediately.
1. Let go off Happily-Ever-After
Many of us put our hopes into the future because we think it will make us happy and we will live with perma-grins forever more. This happily-ever-after syndrome keeps us in the worry zone.
For example, in order to comfortably leave corporate to pursue my purpose and discover my passion I had to get clear about my fear and my attachment to the idea of permanence and “happily-ever-afters.”
I noticed that I was holding on to everything that was not working because I had convinced myself at some point in my life that this was my “forever and always” state. My original choice to be in advertising was supposed to be my career for life. After all, it was what I had worked so hard for. Why then, when I got to where I wanted to be, did it feel lifeless?
We all have areas in our life where we do this. We stay in jobs we don’t like; in relationships we don’t really enjoy, in cities we hate. We believe that walking away, changing direction, or leaving situations that we wanted at one time in our life somehow is a negative reflection on us. We often think people will judge us and we stay stuck in situations that no longer serve us.
To combat this idea, focus on the journey and enjoying each new chapter of your life.
2. Turn Your Lack into Love
The real problem is we’re trying to make a decision from a place of lack–lack of clarity, a lack of focus and a lack of confidence, a deadly mix of deficiencies that keep us feeling unhappy. Instead of focusing on lack, take action. Ask yourself what action can I take to move myself forward? Action always replaces fear in an instant.
3. Drop From Your Head to Your Heart
When I first left my corporate job. I had a difficult time enjoying simple pleasures because I spent so much of my time focusing on what I was going to do next. What was my purpose? What was my passion? I spent enormous amounts of energy trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. Because I didn’t know I was stuck in worry. After a lot of tears, self-torture, trial and error, I gracefully came to the realization that my passion cannot be thought into.
You cannot get to the next phases of your life by thinking your way into it. It can only be felt in the heart. When we drop from our head–the frantic, trying-to-figure-it-out, and obsessing-because-we-haven’t-yet-nailed-it, we energetically align with our joy; and we move forward with love. The feeling that something is missing in your life will be replaced by love.
Try these tips out and watch the worry disappear. I’d love to hear your comments below.
Inspired? Get more happiness strategies tested by Shannon:
How to Turn Off Self-Shame and Guilt
Thank you so much Shannon! This really opened my eyes!