How do you feel?
Are you tired, maybe stressed out?
Are you overwhelmed by all of the “to-dos” on your list?
The holidays are in full swing. Although it is the most wonderful time of the year, it is also one of the most hectic, fast paced, stressful times.
If you feel depleted and overwhelmed, you could be overcommitting yourself. Do you say YES to opportunities even when you want to say NO?
Do you ever attend an event or get-together with a friend and afterward feel like you wasted your time?
Learning how to say no is one of the most important tools in your “love life to the fullest” kit. When you say no, you are honoring yourself and your time, and aligning with your values.
And guess what? When you say no without explaining yourself, you have more time for you, your dreams and your best life.
Many women I work with in my personal coaching programs say they feel guilty for saying no or canceling, even though they don’t really want to go.
But the guilt we feel isn’t about the other person. It is because we are not being honest with ourselves about what and how we really want to spend our time.
Guilt is a by-product of being dishonest with yourself. To avoid it, say yes to your true desires. (That’s good stuff yo- Tweet Me)
If you feel guilty for saying no, this week’s video will help. I share my three-step process to help you be unapologetic about your desires.
Eliminate guilt so you can live your dream life now by following these simple steps.
1. Power in the Pause
Many of us automatically say yes to opportunities before thinking about them. Next time you’re invited
to a party, a friend needs a favor or some opportunity comes your way, take a moment to pause. You can say “maybe, let me get back to you,” which will allow you time to go inward and see if it aligns with your truth.
2. Say No without Explaining Yourself
When you do say no, give a simple answer. “No, it’s not the right time for me.” Or “no it doesn’t seem like a good fit at this time,” are perfect ways to bow out gracefully. When you explain yourself, you are actually trying to justify your choice, which means you still are not 100 percent aligned with why you are saying no. The more comfortable you are with yourself and your choices, the easier it will be to say no.
3. Respect Yourself
I personally turn down invitations, requests and even clients often. Because I know if I say yes, I will be wasting my time and, more importantly, theirs. After all, don’t you want to be surrounded by people who want to be around you? If you say yes to a party you really don’t want to go to, you will show up frustrated and full of regret. To live a life of joy and stay balanced this holiday season, respect yourself by going inward and asking, “Does this feel expansive?”
What it ultimately comes down to is respect. When you say no, you are respecting yourself and creating healthy boundaries.
I would love to hear from you in the comments. What will you say no to this week?
If you want to go deeper into this topic join my next online workshop details here:
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Great reminder!! At one time I used to think I was being selfish when I said “No” to people. Not anymore. Learning to say “No” has relieved so much stress from my life and has allowed me to focus what is important to me.
Good message Shannon, thanks for the reminder.
Thank you, Shannon! This is such helpful advice. I always feel the need to explain when I say “no” and it can send me into a downward spiral. Your tips are going to help me so much!!
Thank you, Thank you! This message came at the perfect moment. It was a true gift.