As part of the series about How To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Authority magazine for an interview about my experience as a Highly Empathetic and Highly Sensitive Person.You can read full interview here.
From a very young age, I saw the world differently. I felt the energy of nature and could feel other people’s pain. I have never once thought I am “too sensitive,” but the world has told me that throughout my entire life, which is why I have suffered from low self-esteem, body issues, and lack of self-love. But through the work that I do as a author and empowerment coach, I have thankfully worked through aspects of that and now see it as a superpower, not a weakness.
It has been estimated that roughly 15–20% of the population is highly sensitive. As an HSP, it simply means one is highly sensitive to their environment. Sights, sounds, smells, and other forms of sensory input may cause a heightened experience for HSPs. For example, a barely perceptible sound to most people may be very noticeable and possibly even painful to an HSP. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy: being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) work a little differently than others. An HSP can perceive with all sense or senses. They are susceptible to slight differences or changes in the environment, and they process information differently as it is felt first before it is understood.
So it really has nothing to do with remarks or being offended but how we navigate and process the world. The highly sensitive person tends to have a higher degree of empathy toward others, as they want to make others feel better and take away the world’s pain.
Advantages that Highly Sensitive people
- Sensitive people can be very perceptive.
- We are usually open-minded and accept others easily.
- We care deeply about others and want to take away the pain, making us good activists, nurturers, and caretakers.
- We are usually super creative.
- We can help others feel seen and heard with compassion and understanding as we feel for the struggles that other people face.
Sensitive people are born to be gentle and to experience life on high alert through the lens of their feelings and senses. They are not better or worse than anyone else, just different.
Although they may have traits in common, they are not all the same. Every sensitive person is unique.
5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person
Step 1: Free Your Feelings
Jess King, a self-love advocate and Peloton fitness instructor says emotions only last five to six minutes max. You can always move through it if you can hold on and then ride it like a wave. One night I felt really balanced. I had just finished a great workout, and I was cooking a healthy meal. I went to put on music while I cooked, and within seconds of the first song that played, I felt an overwhelming force of sadness rush over me. It hit like a tidal wave of grief, and I could do nothing more but fall to my knees and weep. I cried heavy tears of sadness for the state of the world, the families who had lost their homes, and the helplessness I felt — all of it pouring through me, releasing in the warm, wet tears. I sat with it and allowed it all. I didn’t judge my tears but invited them. These feelings were important to feel. Instead of trying to work or distract myself from them, I embraced them. Sure enough, within a few minutes, the tears dried up, and I felt a sense of relief wash over me. A healing presence set in, and I knew I had transmuted my sadness into love. Then my inner voice said, There is more you can do. You are not helpless.
After I expressed my “reaction” of sadness, I could move gracefully back into my true nature, one of love and peace, which gave me the insight to be of service and help in more ways. I felt inspired to help those who the wildfire had directly impacted. I went around my house and gathered food items and new and lightly used clothes to donate. I went to the store and bought care packages of toiletries and socks for families in need. I donated all proceeds that month from my meditation albums to nonprofits collecting for the victims of the wildfires. I woke up each morning with the desire to help and be of service, and all of this happened because I felt my feelings. If I didn’t allow myself to express the sensations, I would have still been stuck in a place of overwhelming sadness. My brain and heart would have never arrived at a place of support, solution, and action. But feeling my feelings was the key to coming back into balance.
Step 2: Choose Love
In Sherianna Boyle’s book Emotional Detox: 7 Steps to Release Toxicity and Energize Joy, she states that feeling our emotions is key to help flush out negativity and clear a path for new positive habits. She says, “There is only one emotion, love. Everything else is a reaction.” The emotions we feel are reactions to situations we experience. My sadness was a reaction to the wildfires and worldwide catastrophe, and health crisis. The only real, pure state is one of love. So, when I felt the feelings and allowed them to move through me, heal, and be released, I could then return back to my state of wholeness.
We aren’t taught how to express ourselves through emotions, but this is built into our DNA and human function. In fact, society will often tell you to hide your feelings, using statements such as “Suck it up,” “Big girls don’t cry!” “Be a man, don’t show emotion!” or “Don’t be such a baby.” This common vernacular gets drilled into us at a young age and disconnects us from experiencing the real, raw human experience. But we have it backward. Leading with love will connect us all.
Our emotions are gateways to our higher self and divine connection to Source energy. When you allow yourself to feel, you open up your energy field to access the divine wisdom available to us all. In the teaching of Taoism, the heart is your message center. We can connect to love through our heart. It is not the everyday human ego (stuck in the head) self, but a deeper self — your true self, the innate wisdom within. True self is a state of peace, while the ego-self is easily agitated and disturbed by life. The true self is love, while the ego-self feels a lack of love, which is why it constantly seeks love and acceptance from outside sources and attachments. When we go within our heart, we can allow the true self to be our full self.
Step 3: Detach from drama.
The more you can disengage from the drama happening outside of you in the world, the easier it is to go inward and focus on your own healing. So often, the world tries to pull us in different directions. Daily demands and to-dos can keep you from being fully present on your journey. Instead of giving your attention away to these outside forces, declare, “Peace is my priority, and I detach from drama.” Begin by paying attention to what you are consuming — what you watch on TV, what you read on social media, who you listen to for advice. What you consume will ultimately consume you, because we always get more of what we focus on. Be aware of your thoughts and intentions. Stop focusing on what is going on out in the world, and instead focus on your inner world and actively choose peaceful thoughts. Cultivate kind thoughts and see fear for what it is: a distraction and an illusion that tries to manipulate our reality.
Step 4: Grow past what you know.
Kimberly Carter Gamble, the producer, and director of the movies THRIVE and THRIVE II, shared a story about her grandmother, who lived a long, healthy, and happy life to the age of 103. Her grandmother believed that the success of her life and making it through such challenging times in history was because of her ability to try on an idea. She said, “You have to be able to try on an idea like an outfit. You don’t have to like it, you can even return it, but at least you try it on.” If we all commit to listening to one another with compassion and an open heart, we can come together in our humanity and unite with more love. This requires a personal responsibility to commit to going beyond what we already know. Be open to learning more, and question your own beliefs often. To grow, we must push to new levels of awareness. One of the most important tools we have is critical thinking. If we can be more open-minded and willing to look beyond what we already know, our world can shift. This requires an ability to suspend disbelief and temporarily hold conflicting views long enough to see if the new perspective feels right. The truth will always be revealed when we can do this, and freedom prevails.
Step 5: Make peace your priority so negativity cannot exist.
In all situations, we have an option to see the dark or the light, to embrace fear, or walk in love. Peace lives in every moment when you make it a priority. You may be stuck in fear, but fear breeds fear, which means every choice you make in fear will give you even more fear. So instead, relinquish your control and let love in. Inviting light to all situations will help uplift you and bring you harmony.
These are all tips from Return to You: 11 Spiritual Lessons for Unshakable Inner Peace.
You can listen to the full interview here.
