For most of us, the past few months have brought a shift into a very different life. We’ve let go of important plans and had to surrender to the unfolding unknown. More deeply, so many of us have been going inward to discover what we really want, need and what matters most.
If you’ve been on a path of personal development you may be doing things to stay balanced. I’ve been listening to podcasts, watching positive YouTube channels, doing breathwork, meditation, movement, eating with intention, helping others and being of service, and going into nature to feel better. Being more present in the moment—whether it’s through cooking, researching, writing, learning, exercising, dancing or a tickle fest with a little one or cuddle session with a furry friend—helps, too.
But one of the tools I found most impactful to balancing our energy and staying positive is the inner work of knowing and living your core values.
When you think of how the quality of your life can be measured, you may recall the experiences that felt most meaningful: graduation, a birth, a milestone celebration, or a major achievement. Sure these experiences are great, but it’s not the experiences that fulfill us so much as the values that are expressed.
It’s the qualities underneath those peak moments that define us. Do you want to know the secret sauce to understanding what we need to sustain ourselves during times of uncertainty? Identifying and living your core values.
Going back to our core values can help us identify what’s missing in our lives.
The best tool that can be transformative during this time is core values work, the potent process of identifying your unique values and orienting your life to align with those.
What are core values?
For the moment, suspend any past associations you have with the term. It isn’t a list you put on your résumé (CV), but rather core values are the particular qualities that bring you the most fulfillment and joy. They are also those qualities that are the very essence of you, the qualities you are expressing when you feel most alive and connected to your authentic self.
In my book Joy Seeker, I talk about how every person has a different set of values but knowing yours can help improve all relationships and the overall quality of your life. It can help drive your life so you can live with more value, connection, meaning and joy.
An example: Meet Melissa. She was getting lost in the news and social media cycle every day, falling into the huge waves of emotions that headlines bring. Plus, she had a picture in mind of what she wanted the stay-at-home order to look like: meditation every day, exercise, healthy eating, writing the book she’s always wanted to share and starting a blog. But her time wasn’t her own, with her husband working from home and children needing to be homeschooled, she was spending a lot of energy unsuccessfully trying to get her kids to do homework, keep the house clean, etc. With all the demands of work and parenting during this time, she was having a hard time managing her self-care and love routine. She tried to start each day with a morning routine of meditation and journaling, yet she was feeling increasingly empty and angry, even though she knew she had so much to be grateful for. She said to me, “It’s hard to find joy.”
We looked to her core values, using the process I’ll guide you through below. As she looked at her peak experiences, a few phrases kept coming up for her: connection, newness/adventure, and meaning. This helped us understand the growing irritability and emptiness she was feeling, and it also highlighted why the self-care things she was having a hard time doing were making such a huge impact. Together we brainstormed ideas for how she could more fully live and honor her values now.
How could she give herself some dose of that core value of newness and adventure right now, even while so much was monotonous on the surface level of her experience? Could it come through reading something wildly different or by taking a bold risk in her work? What about going to a new place, a park or a coffee shop? Could she carve out time each day to do what’s she loved, write? And as she did this, soon enough she felt so much better.
Melissa was able to come up with a ton of ideas for each value. As she made those changes, she started to feel the boost in energy and joy that living one’s values ultimately brings. She was more personally fueled and was getting moments of joy in each day, so her frustrations lessened, and it was easier for her to see the big picture of what was important in her family during this time. Most importantly, she felt more connected to her true self because she focused on her core driving needs. As she rearranged her life to meet these needs the results were plenty. She started a weekly adventure day with her family, where they would go to a new place together in the neighborhood and explore, this lead to her blog concept and weekly post ideas, and she was able to use this passion to fuel her whole day which gave her time to write her book, writing almost 15,000 words in one week.
When you are connected to your true self, everything becomes easier. Your life flows.
Even more so, she felt that she didn’t need to rely on or heavily engage with the news, by eliminating distractions and drama she had more energy and focus for things that mattered most to her. She shifted focus by asking a new question: Who do I want to be in the face of all of this? What values do I want to embody in these times? And how can I live out my values today, bringing the gifts of them to others?
Knowing and living our values is extra important right now, when so much in our lives is out of our control and when our usual sources of comfort may be unavailable. We must align with our true self and ask ourselves, who do I want to be through all this? Am I standing in my truth and honoring my inner light?
Here’s the process to identify your own values and figure out how to design your days to live them more fully.
Write down three-five peak experiences from your life. What are the highlights?
Next, look at your peak experiences and notice what values of yours were being expressed through them. (Adventure, creativity, importance, etc.)
From there, hone your list of three to five primary core values.
Next comes the application of this to your daily life. On a scale of one to ten, rate how expressed each of these values is in your life right now? Are your needs being met?
Look at where you can add more of your true self into your life and create a plan to be able to live your values daily.
We must live with more value, integrity, and truth. Living your values is the first step to improving circumstances. And when you improve your own situation and start to feel better, this ripples out into the world and helps to uplift the world.
When you know what your core values are, your dreams become a compass.
What is the dream in your heart? Are you ready to actualize it? It’s time. I’m here to support you.
When it comes to feeling better and living the life you are made for, this is only the tip of the iceberg. To support you through this time I am offering a flash summer sale through the fourth of July weekend to celebrate your core values and express your true freedom.
Save 15% on all coach and mentor programs with code “FREEDOM” at checkout.
- Whether you want to share your story and write your book (Author Mentorship);
- Leave your 9–5 and become your own boss (Business Mentorship);
- Or get unstuck, get more clarity, feel more passion, joy, meaning and self-love (Life Coaching).
Working together through my exclusive coaching program will help you step into your true self and confidently live your values daily.
Offer expires July 5th 11:59 PM PST.
